Tomorrow

13/03/2019

And what is life if not illusions, and so is tomorrow. The closer it gets the anticipation rises but the arrival is never certain and the departure is never known. For all I’ve seen we rely a lot on tomorrow when infact its never there. Just like the people in our life but who am I to judge we all had our reasons.

To be honest I’ve always lived life on the back foot , waiting. Disappointed, to never be able to live what I was expecting to happen but mistakes are to be learned from and not to be mourned over forever. So I keep moving forward with everything in mind but never looking back, or so i thought.

Its been years since I last felt something, it's all been a blur to me and since then everything has been numb. But it all changes when you see them when you werent supposed to, when you look into thier eyes and you see them feel nothing but you cant help but shed a tear and walk away. Time slows down when all your choices flashes in front of your eyes and the courage to choose one over the other is nowhere to be seen.

But it's all reletive, all the questions, all the choices, the consequences when you look back and see where you came from and realise all the options left behind that werent there in the first place. An illusion that you were in control of what made you who you are. The thought of what you could have been.

I guess the sense of choice is the reason of disappointment. Thinking over and again only makes it worse, and making peace with whatever you did or whatever it let to should be the only thing I should be focusing on.

As the time goes on and on sometimes letting go is the only way to gain control.